In Memory of Roy K.: The Founder of Our Fellowship and a Pioneer on Our Path to Recovery.

 oday, we commemorate the birthday of Roy K., the founder of Sexaholics Anonymous. Roy was not merely a sex drunk seeking recovery for himself; he was also a visionary—one who realized that his suffering was not unique and that many others like him lived in isolation and silence, searching for a way out of the tyranny of lust but finding none.

In 1979, the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous was born through his efforts, but it did not find its way easily. From the very beginning, Roy K. faced waves of doubt and resistance. He had to prove to the world the necessity and significance of our fellowship. Yet, he did not waver; he pressed on with unwavering determination, believing that salvation does not come through isolation but in finding companionship among those who share the same struggle and cling to the same passion for the solution. Today, decades after its founding, the fellowship has become a beacon of hope and transformation, where thousands have found a lifeline out of the bondage of lust—thanks to the efforts of Roy K. and those who believed in his sincere vision.

"I want to find my people!"—this is what Roy used to say. He laid the cornerstone of our First Step and Third Tradition, realizing that sex was merely a mirror reflecting our true illness, and that the real problem was lust. Sexual drunkenness had been a dark prison, where its inmates faced a slow death in miserable isolation.

Roy K. remained faithful to the definition of sobriety throughout his life. He never compromised on it, was passionate about the message, and sacrificed his money, time, and effort to bring the light of recovery to every lost sex drunk wandering in the jungle of lust.

On his birthday, we remember him with deep gratitude and appreciation. We move forward on his path, carrying the message of recovery and sobriety centered on God. For what he started was not merely an idea, but a revolution of hope and transformation—one that we continue together with every step toward recovery.

Inspirational story of a SA member in prison

I’m Anonymous, a recovering sexaholic,
and I am making a program call.” Those
easy words are a bit harder to say from
the inside of a jail cell. Nevertheless, I can
get current, I can reach out, I can get out
of isolation by just writing this letter. Even
though I am stuck in a cell 21 to 23 hours
a day, I still have the tools to grow in my
recovery and to have a positive sobriety
by doing all I can for the sexaholic who
still suffers. I can connect with my Higher
Power. I accomplish this by daily Bible
reading, prayer, and reading recovery
materials. I attend any kind of meeting
(religious, AA, etc.) whenever possible and
I speak the language of recovery to my
“cellie,” a recovering alcoholic.
Due to the nature of my charges and due
to the nature of the other individuals in
“protective custody,” there is very little
fellowship and very little openness. 

This contrasts so much with the honesty
and camaraderie of SA meetings.
Nevertheless, I choose to thrive and
continue to grow along spiritual lines.
Moment by moment, one day at a time,
I can surrender every temptation to
“numb out” or “act out” with memories
or fantasies. Surrender is still the key—
in here, or out there. Instead of “white
knuckling” or giving in, I choose to
surrender. I choose to maintain a firm
bottom line. TV shows, magazines,
or any memories that may be triggers
are immediately surrendered. My daily
journaling is also a very useful tool.
Maintaining a positive attitude, avoiding all
resentments (and surrendering them if and
when they come), and fostering a spirit of
gratitude are also key tools.
Honestly, some days are harder, some
days easier. On hard days and nights, I try
to use the tools of the program. I pray for
daily sobriety. Yet, I must also admit that
sometimes I feel my time here is wasted
and there seems to be no point to it all. But
I surrender that “feeling of uselessness.”
I try to focus on “the promises.” No one
ever said this would be an easy path. But
as I “trudge this road of happy destiny,”
I can only hope that my experience can
benefit others. And so I write—praying that
this letter can help someone, somewhere,
be sober for just one more day. Today, as
I celebrate day 595 of my recovery (the
last 17 in jail), I thank you, the reader,
for letting me be of service. Every single
person who reads or hears these words
helps me be sober. So I thank you! Thank
you for bringing me out of isolation and
helping me to be a part of the Fellowship.

I love you, appreciate you, and value you,
my dear brothers and sisters in recovery.
P.S. A few weeks before I entered jail,
I got a sobriety chip for 18 months, and
when I was released, I got my two-year
chip. The Program works, if you work it,
so work it, because you’re worth it!



For more information


https://chat.whatsapp.com/HHhenU9OyMQ13dDNnjhUm0

Rob's story (recovery in prison)

 Rob's story
I have been asked to share a little of my journey to recovery and the key role Sexaholics Anonymous played in that journey. Please consider this personal testimony as evidence of the good work that SA do to recover souls lost in addiction.

In 2018 I was convicted of a sexual offence and sentenced to five months in prison. I was also very fortunate to have been granted bail. This gave me an opportunity to seek help for my addiction. I engaged the help of a registered counsellor who specialized in sex addiction. After many sessions twice, a week at first, he suggested that I contact SA which I did. Up until that point I had never heard of SA. My addiction had driven me to cross barriers I never thought would be possible. I felt alone, rejected by society, even by some of my own family. I was confused and afraid of what I had become.

But when I began to attend SA meetings I realized I was not alone, in fact, I was accepted by them and felt that I was part of something. Something that had answers to my questions that made sense. They were able to lay out steps to recovery. They had access to resources that were world wide

They were able to tell me that in my own strength I was powerless to recover that there was a higher power that I could depend on to keep me on a sober path a better way of living, than stuck in my addiction. I was lucky and blessed to have found SA. If I had gone to remand instead of gaining bail, I shudder to think where I would be. My heart aches for all those in Jail who are slaves to sexual addiction who may never have the opportunity I had to find a new life through contact with SA. When I was in jail I still had support from SA though in a limited way, for example Jason C wrote me letters of encouragement and even came and visited me. My daily renewal partner Stuart wrote to me also and both of them to this day are great support mentors. This is one of the great benefits of SA you join a brotherhood that cares and supports each other, for we fight a common enemy. SA shows us a new path tried and tested by many who have gone before us.

My relationship with my higher power GOD  has grown beyond my wildest dreams. I know face life in partnership with Him in fact I would say co- dependent on Him for all my needs, I can testify that He has been faithful long suffering and abundant in goodness to me even though I am nothing special. But through His power working in me all things are possible.

 At present He has led me to a place where I am currently working with addicts here in another country who are serious about recovery, I have found the skills that SA taught me i.e. the 12-step program, have become invaluable in this role and my experience is now working to benefit others and help them out of addiction. I run a carpentry course for these ones that assists to build self-esteem and reinforces in a practical way that success can be achieved by following advice from experienced mentors and following a set of guidelines to achieve the desired result all assist the students to see that they can achieve recovery. My life has purpose meaning and direction and I owe that to God first then the amazing role SA has played in my rehabilitation. It is such an honour to be able to use my experience to help others

I appeal to you to allow SA to work with you in rehabilitation for those who are seeking help so that inmates will have that opportunity to recover and through their contact with SA they will have valuable ongoing support when they have finished their time so they will be less likely to re-offend and find recovery from what is a crippling disease.



Thank you for taking the time to assess the possibilities of allowing even on a trial bases SA to minister to those incarcerated

Rob's audio share
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1l7pUQh0gegWfYkgZouaUJOSOg4rEQTbt/view?usp=drivesdk


For more information about how to get involved in SA prison work

https://chat.whatsapp.com/HHhenU9OyMQ13dDNnjhUm0

Cei 12 Pasi ai Sexaholicilor (=betiv de sex) Anonimi

 

1. Am admis că eram neputincioși în fața poftei trupesti - că nu mai eram stăpâni pe viața noastră.

2. Am ajuns la credința că o putere superioară nouă înșine ne-ar putea reda sănătatea mintală.

3. Am hotărât să ne lăsăm voința și viața în grija unui Dumnezeu, așa cum și-l inchipuia fiecare dintre noi.

4. Ne-am făcut, fără teamă, un inventar moral amănunțit al propriei persoane.

5. Am mărturisit lui Dumnezeu, nouă înșine și unei alte ființe umane natura exactă a greșelilor noastre.

6. Am consimțit, fără rezerve, ca Dumnezeu să ne scape de toate aceste defecte de caracter.

7. Cu umilință, I-am cerut să ne îndepărteze slăbiciunile.

8. Am întocmit o listă cu toate persoanele cărora le-am făcut rău și am consimțit să ne reparăm greșelile.

9. Ne-am reparat greșelile direct față de acele persoane, acolo unde a fost cu putință, dar nu și atunci când asta ar fi însemnat să le facem rău, lor sau altora.

10. Ne-am continuat inventarul personal și ne-am recunoscut greșelile, de îndată ce ne-am dat seama de ele.

11. Am căutat, prin rugăciune și meditație, să ne întărim contactul conștient cu Dumnezeu, așa cum și-L închipuia fiecare dintre noi, cerându-I doar să ne arate voia Lui în ceea ce ne privește și să ne dea putere să o împlinim.

12. După ce am trăit o trezire spirituală ca rezultat al acestor pași, am încercat să transmitem acest mesaj și altor sexaholici și să punem în aplicare aceste principii în toate domeniile vieții noastre.

Definitia abstinentei sexuale

 Ce este un dependent de sex şi ce este abstinenţa sexuală?

Nu putem vorbi decât în numele nostru. Natura specializată a DSA poate fi cel mai bine înţeleasă prin prisma a ceea ce numim dependentul de sex. Dependentul de sex s-a extras pe sine din întregul context a ceea ce e bine şi ce e rău. A pierdut controlul, nu mai posedă puterea de a alege şi nu este liber să se oprească. Dorinţa a devenit o dependenţă. Situaţia noastră este similară cu a alcoolicului care nu mai poate tolera alcoolul şi trebuie să se renunţe complet la băutură, dar este dependent şi nu se poate opri. La fel şi dependentul de sex, sau „beţivul” de sex, care nu mai poate suporta dorinţa, dar nu se poate opri.

Deci, pentru dependentul de sex, orice formă de activitate sexuală, indiferent că este cu sine sau cu un partener, altul decât cel legitim (sot/sotie intr-o casatorie intre un barbat si o femeie), generează dependenţă şi duce la distrugere. Înţelegem de asemenea că forţa în faţa căreia cedăm este dorinţa şi că adevărata abstinenţă include victoria progresivă asupra dorinţei. Aceste concluzii s-au născut, fără putinţă de tăgadă, din creuzetul experienţei şi recuperării noastre; nu avem alte opţiuni. Dar am descoperit că acceptarea acestor concluzii este cheia unei recuperări fericite şi pline de bucurie la care nu am fi putut ajunge în alt fel.
Această realitate va descuraja – şi aşa şi trebuie - pe mulţi din aceia care recunosc că au o obsesie sau o compulsie sexuală, dar care nu-şi doresc decât să o controleze şi să se bucure de ea, la fel cum alcoolicul şi-ar dori să-şi poată controla dorinţa de a bea şi să bea de plăcere. Până când n-am ajuns la disperare, până când n-am ajuns să ne dorim din tot sufletul să ne oprim, dar n-am mai putut, până atunci nu ne-am implicat cu adevărat în programul de recuperare. DSA este pentru aceia care ştiu că singura lor şansă este să se oprească şi au ajuns la această concluzie singuri, din dorinţa de a-şi îmbunătăţi viaţa.

HALT - un pericol de recadere

 

Susceptibilitatea la aceste mecanisme declanşatoare este unul dintre factorii pe care se bazează sloganul programului nostru, HALT4. Acronimul vine de la hungry (flămând), angry (furios), lonely (izolat), tired (obosit). Nu lăsa să ajungi prea flămând, prea furios, prea izolat sau prea obosit.

Foamea. Pentru mulţi dintre noi, o stare interioară de agitaţie – grabă sau supraexcitare – pare să fie cel puţin la fel de periculoasă ca foamea. Iar foamea însăşi poate duce la mâncatul „în asalt”, aşa cum mulţi dintre noi ştiu prea bine. Mâncatul „în asalt” poate declanşa dependenţa sexuală.

Furia. Furia, resentimentele şi gândurile negative îndreptate împotriva noastră sau a altora dau naştere unei stări de tulburare care ne izolează şi ne face să recurgem la drogul nostru.

Izolarea. În absenţa unei relaţii, dependentul de sex se va angaja în orice relatie.

Oboseala. Oboseala ne face mai susceptibili la tentaţie, slăbindu-ne cumva sistemul de apărare, ca şi cum slăbiciunea fizică ne afectează şi vigoarea emoţională.

Pe măsură ce începem să ne conştientizăm declanşatorii, să nu mai reacţionăm la ei şi să ne acceptăm limitările, se diminuează şi teama de eşec. Învăţăm să facem diferenţa între a ne satisface orice poftă şi a avea grijă de noi. Asta realizează noul mod de viaţă: începem, adică, să descoperim ce gol încerca să umple pofta noastră. Descoperirea aceasta este însă rezultatul parcurgerii răbdătoare a celor Doisprezece Paşi, despre care vom vorbi în Partea a II-a. Până atunci, însă, este probabil util să trecem în revistă procesul de dependenţă şi să discutăm

puţin despre conceptul de poftă şi despre baza spirituală a dependenţei.

Noul numar de SA Essay Februarie 2021

SA Essay Februarie 2021 - Engleza